The Unswung Bat

Monday, October 02, 2006
Dispatches from the Secret Cat/Human Samurai Wars
There is no cat word for "mercy."

Toronto, Oct. 3, 2006 -- I just threw an apple at the moon. I did not see or hear it land, but I believe I missed. I also discovered the one good way to meet a cat: in the middle of the night (give or take 5 minutes or so), on the pavement, solitarily. The feline and I met as generals meet on the field of battle, and though soft was his fur, great was his honor. One day perhaps, in gentler times, my descendants and his will live side-by-side, in peace. Yet tonight, as moonlight sanctifies the fallen cherry-blossoms around us, he and I know neither would hesitate to put the other to the sword.

I hope the cat was not radioactive. Of the two cats I know, one is currently radioactive. I understand that if it bites you, you turn into the Incredible Catman. Let the human nations tremble.

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