The Unswung Bat

Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Internet Full Star Report: Crisis in Wasting Time!
By Many Dan

This week's items: Sucks, Boring-Ass, Not Awesome

Looking for something to do now that I've watched every Weebl and Bob episode ever, I stumbled back across good ol' exploding dog, which I haven't visited in a while. All the pictures are scary good, discouragingly crafty and wise. Makes me feel like Sam was born with something ordinary people don't have. Then I looked in the archives at the early pictures. Phew, what a relief! They just suck! All of them. Suck with a capital SUCK. Nay, a capital capital capital SUCK, 'cause that makes even more sense. As Max would say, suck-diddly-uck.


Inspired by the word explodingdog, I remembered Brendan and tried to find his blog (since I was sure he'd have a blog. I mean, come on. It's Brendan). Know how I found it? I guessed the url. Out of every possible url in the world I figured the one he'd choose was pretty obvious, and I was right. His blog is pretty cool, take a look. I'ma add it to my linksabar later. Now, onward and onward.

In a last-ditch effort to find something cool before resorting to studying for the English exam (actually, it's Western Tradition, which is mostly Greek. The only English thing we've read so far was Shakespeare, but I call it English, and you don't care, do ya?) . . . anyway, perhaps drunk on my sense of accomplishment from having guessed Brendan's blog's address, I optimistically typed in, knowing full damn well that someone must own that domain name and hopefully was doing something worthy with it. Know what their website consisted of? A single page. Know what that page looked like? This. Now that my friends is just plain crappy. What does that even mean?

Me being in a hurry, this is a plain and boring entry, but here's cool news. The play is goin'. Inna meantime, all you bloggers out there gotta learn how to use paragraphs. Now I'm off the be traditionally western. Opa!

With chocolate-covered almonds,

- Rick Moranis

PS: Signing the guestbook is cool, sexy, burns calories, and fights terrorism. Crap, now I gotta bring Will groceries. He's in Rome! In conclusion, who in god's middle name is Maureen Gilroy? Whoever she is, by flagrantly abusing the blog signy generator and writing the longest signy ever, she's proven that she is definitely my kinda guestbook-signer. Maureen, wherever you are, the next song goes out to you. Interestingly enough, the next song appears to be Roxanne, by the Police.

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